“Don’t let anyone see me cry. Just act like everything is ok, even though the pit in the core of my stomach tells me something differently. Just keep, ‘the everything is wonderful face’ topped off with a smile and keep going.” These are just a few mantras that I have chanted over and over in my mind to keep myself together when my emotional radar was sirening that something was wrong. I’ve learned from Lysa Terkeurst that emotions are INDICATORS, not DICTATORS.
As women, God gave us the gift of being more emotional. We feel things emotionally and unfortunately, even amongst other believers, sometimes it just isn’t accepted. So do you know what we all do? We stuff and act like nothing is wrong instead of being honest about where we really are. What if we, as Godly women, can be truly honest about where we are and express and release our emotions in a safe place, without fear? BEING LESS EMOTIONAL DOESN’T MAKE YOU MORE GODLY! Did that just help someone? Sometimes, being honest about your emotions and venting them out to Him makes you MORE Godly! Just look at David in the Bible. He was considered a man after God’s own heart and look at all of the whining and crazy things that he said while processing his emotions to God. This is it though; we can’t sin in our emotional state! That is not ok! It’s ok to be emotional and be honest about it. It’s ok to cry! It’s ok to get it out, but it’s not ok to sin or hurt others via gossip, losing control, cursing others, or turning to substances, shopping, etc. to cope.
What if we could truly be honest? It seems as though women, overall, have a hard time doing that for many reasons:
1. Pride. We don’t want to appear weak or unspiritual. Let’s face it! We do not always have it together! Sometimes we are weak. It’s ok to be weak. My Bible says that when I am weak, then HE can be strong in me.
2. Fear of being misunderstood. I have been misunderstood many times. It’s ok too! God intimately understands me and I am living to please Him and I have his approval…and so do you!
3. There is no one available to talk to. There is a BIG benefit of being in a small group. You can always call anyone in the group to talk to. These are people who know you and are sharing their lives with you. Many women don’t want to impose on anyone else. Get over it please! Your vulnerability may actually help them.
4. Getting Hurt. Yes, I promise you will get hurt at some point in your life when you open up your heart to others, but by never opening up your heart is a trillion times worse. When someone hurts you, just forgive that person, let it go, and move on. Find others who are not going to hurt you! Be proactive. Don’t stuff.
GIRLFRIENDS! You don’t have to carry everything yourself!
DISCLAIMER: This article is not an encouragement to let your emotions run wild and and free to whomever and by saying whatever. It is an encouragement to pay attention to those tears that are welling up in your eyes and that knot in your stomach because you are valuable and important. Trust me. Stuffing emotions is going to hurt you and your most valuable relationships in the long run. I learned that holding it all together may seem like I am doing everyone a favor, but in the long run, I am not. It’s not going to be fruitful if you don’t acknowledge, process, and release the emotions.
God gave us each other. We were never meant to walk alone. When I am weak, I run and hide behind my heavenly Father. I turn off my brain and let him protect me. I can’t figure everything out. I also transparently share my tears, fears, and weakness with others. I am not trying to be a Christian rock star. I am a fragile, human being with real, raw, emotions who needs others in this harsh world until I get to heaven.
“If I must boast, I would rather boast about the things that show how weak I am.” 2 Corinthians 11:30
Do you stuff your true emotions? Who can you share your true emotions with?
Keeping it real,