Category: Overcoming

It’s been a while since I last blogged. In my last bold post, I confidently declared my blissful expectations of Summer 2014. {Check out my comical last post, My Tribute to Summer.} Boldly, I confessed how I was going to live in the moment and have a memorable summer with my family. Well… my life, my plans, my summer got interrupted. My lofty plans for the best summer yet were rudely interrupted by a minor but messy house fire! The A/C thermostat randomly caught on fire. After the first day of Vacation Bible School, the boys and I returned home to a house filled with black smoke. The fire department even got to pay us a visit. The fire caused some damage to the floor and walls immediately surrounding the fire – however, the smoke permeated the entire house. The burning plastic thermostat was immediately underneath the A/C intake and smoke went throughout every square inch of the house. Every inch of fabric in our home – including our clothing, furniture, and drapes – had to be confiscated to the dry cleaners for eight weeks. Every single item in our home also had to be sanitized and wiped down. We ended up not being able to properly live in our house for eight weeks during the clean-up and renovation. The A/C and ducts were replaced, all the walls and baseboards completely repainted, and over a thousand square feet of wood floors were ripped out and replaced – all the while, a busy, one-year old was getting into everything. My plan was to have a blast of a summer while the reality quickly became navigating insurance companies, contractors, and being displaced from our home. All this craziness left me edgy… well, a little mean at times!

Has your life recently been interrupted?

Oh, I forgot to mention that we had just moved into the house at the end of March 2014.  We bought a house that sat empty for a year then quickly renovated it ourselves before moving in. (So we had just painted it a few months prior before repainting it again.) Are you feeling my pain now? We gratefully got the house back together just days before Josiah started kindergarten. Whew!

Since August, the time lost was redeemed as we changed the name of our non-profit from Hope 4 Joseph to Joseph’s Joy along with launching the new updated website. We finished creating the bylaws and articles for Joseph’s Joy along with officially obtaining our 501 (c)(3) status. YAY! In addition to all of this, we completed our book which is called, Joseph’s Joy: Living with Unstoppable Hope. (My next blog will have more information.)

So… where did 2014 go?  It flew by! It has not been an easy year, but it has definitely been a productive one! Once again, it has been confirmed that God truly does work out all things for my good, even when it does not feel good. I decided to make the most of my failed summer and enjoy it anyway. Living in the moment, was a skill that I tried to exercise. Only living one day at a time helped me from being overwhelmed by it all.

Have you ever felt  frustrated when plans did not go your way, then later looked back to see that it was a blessing in disguise?

 Every time I mop my new wood floors, I think of just how great a blessing it turned out to be.

May you ponder this verse today:

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28

I would like to introduce to you, Joshua Asher Scott!

Joshua was born on April 10, 2013; a robust 8 lb 6 oz with a striking head full of hair.

As I walked myself down the stoic hallway of the hospital into the frigid operating room for my scheduled cesarean section, I was experiencing a surreal moment.  I chanted in my mind, “Am I really about to have another baby?”  The pregnancy flew by (believe it or not) and I was about to do this newborn thing all over again.  As I cautiously entered the operating room for my third c-section, I was more frightful because I knew exactly what was about to happen.  You see, my motto now with giving birth is, “NO PAIN, NO PAIN”!  I wanted to clearly direct the anesthesiologist about how to do his job to make sure that my spinal had no flaws.

There we went.  Spinal inserted…legs hot and tingly…wide awake…within minutes surgery had begun and merely minutes afterwards, my Joshua Asher took his first breath.  The nurses snugged the curtain down so that I could look at him.  My first thought was, “He is smaller than my other boys.”  He was so tight, compact, and strong.  Then I heard his sweet cry; the moment that he communicated with me for the first time verbally.  Forever connected with a bond that only a mother and a child can have.

Joshua was born in the same hospital that my first-born son, Joseph was born in and also died in at 4 years, 4 months of age.  Joseph took his FIRST breath in that hospital and also his LAST breath there.  I facilitated him coming into this world and also him leaving this world to enter his eternal heavenly home.

I have been thinking about first and last breaths.  First breaths only happen once.  Last breaths also only happen once.  It is all of the breaths in between that compile our life.  As I sit here right now and listen to Joshua’s non-rhythmic breaths, I am intrigued to know how many actual breaths a person breaths in his or her lifetime.  Millions…Billions…Trillions?

I can’t control the first breath nor can I can control the last breath that I breath, but I can choose to FULLY LIVE with the breaths in between.  I can embrace the future and the unknown with grace, hope, and love knowing that life truly is a GIFT!  It is our moment in time to impact the world; to impact others eternally.

I love the picture of Joshua with Joseph’s lovey because it is a symbol of new life and life no longer on this earth.  It reminds me that life is fleeting and is a vapor. It reminds me to ENJOY the life that I have TODAY.

Life does move on and we DO keep breathing breaths.  It is our choice as to how we want to spend those breaths.

I would like to encourage you today to breathe your breaths with hope and purpose!  You are loved and are here with a role that only you can fulfill.  Choose to LIVE your LIFE FULLY and EMBRACE your God-given PURPOSE!

What in your life has caused excruciating pain…pain to the point of shutting down or refusing to trust in that area again?  Maybe, it’s a failed relationship and you have internally decided to never really trust again, so you keep your painful place guarded.  Maybe, it’s abuse from your childhood that you had no control over and you have secretly assumed that God isn’t good.  You internally say, “If he was good, why would he have allowed this to happen to me?”  Or, maybe life hasn’t turned out as you planned and deep down you’re just plain mad .  In my case, it’s the loss of my son eight months ago, and enduring an abusive marriage ten years ago when I thought that I had done everything right. In my life, I have come to learn a few things about facing pain.

Here are a few things that I have come to learn:

1.  God is so ridiculously good to me and HE HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING TO HURT ME!  His intentions for me are ALWAYS GOOD!  Pain comes into our life as a result of three things – our own selfish choices (aka sin), our fallen world, and our enemy. Our own sin, therefore the painful consequences of that sin (which, btw, God can work out for our ultimate good if we let him. Romans 8:28) Also, because we live in an imperfect, fallen world and sometimes, “stuff just happens!”  We live in a toxic world with free-will. And lastly, a direct attack from the enemy.  John 10:10  “The thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy.” The enemy HATES you, but God lavishly LOVES you!  Until we get to Heaven, we will endure some things, but Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble, but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33   He is for us, not against us!  He has a great plan for us to be with Him forever.  He also has promised us that He would NEVER leave us or forsake us.  Hebrews 13:5  God is the one that we should be running to, not stiffing!  He is ALWAYS GOOD!  He longs to hold us in the middle of our pain!  He has held me in the middle of all of my pain and anger and has brought me closer to Him.  Maybe today you are still angry and blaming God for your pain.  Dear friend, he is not your enemy.  He is your biggest fan and loves you more than anyone else.  He wants to hold you and love you through your pain!

2.  You can’t progress in life with unforgiveness in your heart!  I have been hurt, misunderstood, rejected, talked about, and have lost at many things.  I know that to have a healthy life that I have to have a forgiving heart toward those offenders and also towards God; He is not my enemy anyway!  Why is it our nature to make God our enemy?  Is it because we think that He could have stopped the painful situation?  Either way, we can’t harbor bitterness and resentment in our heart.  WE HAVE TO LET GO!  Now, forgiveness does not equate trust.  You can forgive someone, but not trust them or allow them to continue hurting you.  Your heart must be pure towards them though.  Here is a test:  Can you pray God’s goodness and blessing on that person who has hurt you?  If you can genuinely do that, then I think that your heart is pure!  If you want to fully live, you have to truly forgive! 

3.  Eventually, you will come to a place with your pain where THE PAIN or your HEALING will define you!  Healing results in renewed passion and purpose in your life.  The manifestations of a person who won’t let go of their pain is:  Anger, bitterness, lack of trust, fear, self protection, insecurity, and hesitation.  The manifestations of a healed heart is:  Love, letting go of the past, hope, strength to help others, and renewed purpose.  God doesn’t waste anything, but will weave our painful situations into our ministry and purpose!  God gives us time to grieve, mourn, and be human with our pain, but at some point, we will have to make a decision; a decision to heal or not to heal!

Most people have experienced deep pain in their lives. We are human and will experience loss in this life.  My question to you today is:  WHAT WILL DEFINE YOU?  What will be the marker of your life?  I hope to encourage you today to take God out of the “choke-hold” and let him love you!  His intentions for you are ALWAYS good!  You can trust him!

I look forward to the day, where I can experience no more tears and no more sorrows,  just as Joseph is experiencing now!  As Christians, we have that hope along with tremendous purpose for today!  Let’s run our race well!

Tonight I am preparing to speak to some local teenagers about finding their purpose and decided that I would share some thoughts on the topic.  Purpose is what keeps us all getting out of bed in the morning and pushing on in spite of many obstacles and disappointments.  It is purpose that truly fulfills a human being’s life.  Without purpose, we are just like robots going through the motions of life; just doing what is needed to get by.  I can candidly tell you that I have felt like that robot many days, weeks, and even months at a time.

As I am compiling my information, stories, and examples, I am reminded of how desperately we ALL need to live this life with passion and purpose.   Every night when we lay our heads down, that day is irreversible.  We can’t go back and have a re-do.  Another day has passed with the opportunity to love, change, and impact someone’s life.  I believe that our purpose always has to do with the advancement of humanity and betterment of society.  I believe that our purpose is also meant to be eternally lasting.  I believe that we each were born “for such a time as this”.

Only I can do what I was created to do and reach those that I was intended to reach.  Only you can do what you were created to do and reach those you are intended to reach.  My precious friend, we only get one shot at this gift of life on earth, then we will be rewarded for what we did with the “talents” given to us.  Our natural, inborn aptitudes, passions, and personality are all clues to our God-given purpose.  God doesn’t make junk or mistakes!  When he created us, he was designing us to do what HE wanted. Even our trials, pain, and obstacles that we overcome are interwoven into that fabric of purpose in our lives.  We each reflect a deeply thought-out, hand-carved “masterpiece” exploding with our “one-of-a-kind” fingerprint to leave on this world.  It’s astounding to think that of all 7 billion people in the world, our fingerprint is individual and it can not be copied…so is our life!

So, what is keeping you from living life on purpose?  Is it fear?  Is it comparison?  Feeling inadequate?  Feeling tired and depressed?

I want to encourage us all (myself included) to step out and do bold things to impact the world; to embrace life fully.  I encourage you to smile, laugh, enjoy people and love them!  Remember, we only get one shot!

I prayed and vowed to wait for my husband since I was 14 yrs. old while vehemently running after God and His Plan for my life.  My high school and college years were filled with starting Bible clubs on my campuses and trying to love and honor God in every area of my life.

I graduated from college and began teaching school when I decided to get married at the age of 24.  I was peaceful and excited to marry someone involved in ministry because that too was my heart!  It wasn’t long before that excitement turned into the most intense pain of my life.  I found myself writing scriptures as punishment for different things that I did, along with having my clothes picked out for me everyday so that I wouldn’t be so “unattractive”.  I was told that I was Leah in the Bible and that Jacob really didn’t love Leah, but she made it to the end and so can you.  I was obsurdly encouraged, “You actually are blessed because Leah was in the direct lineage of Jesus.”  I can’t even believe that I was in the middle of this, but there was one thing that I wasn’t going to do and that was get divorced.  I was determined that I was going to pray, get counselling, and “patiently, put-up” with it until God broke through.  There were years of waking up crying and going to bed crying, pleading to God to change things.  Then, one day while on my lunch break from teaching, I was pouring out my heart to God and he clearly told me, “Joy, choose this day who you are going to serve? Me… or trying to save this marriage yourself?  I have a plan for you and I am going to restore back 10 times everything that you think you lost.”   What???  This didn’t make sense to me.  I knew what God said about divorce and I wasn’t going to do it! I also knew how God felt about abuse.  I had to make some decisions that were, as I percieved, shameful and embarrassing.  I kept wondering where I went wrong.  How did I miss it? I eventually had to accept the fact that people have a free-will.

My heart was shattered and broken, my dreams for my life seemed unrepairable.  I didn’t see or feel how God could ever use my life again with the big” D” stamped on my head. Ministering to others has always been the greatest joy of my heart.  God began to renew, rebuild and heal my heart.  God gave me courage again to believe in myself and His dreams for me no matter what I thought others thought of me.  I slowly began to get back involved in ministering to others again…this time out of my brokenness!  My brokenness kept me humble, delicate, and gentle with people.  It made me relatable to others’ pain, whatever it was. It also made me grateful that God had been so good to me!

You see, God redeemed my life and gave me Jon.  Jon waited his entire life to give himself away fully and God gave him to me!  God preserved him so that he could use him to love and redeem me!  Redeem, by definition, means to buy back or to take over ownership.  Jon is not perfect, but he has been nothing but love to me no matter what I look like or how crazy I act and I can surely act crazy!  Just as God has redeemed me before, he will continue to redeem my pain. He will redeem Joseph’s life and story!  He will redeem me again and again if I let him!  My redeemer lives, not just when I get to heaven, but here and now on this  broken earth with EVERYTHING that I go through!  He loves to bring beauty out of ashes and put a redemptive song in my mouth!  I don’t sing well, but I will sing it loud…the song of the redeemed!  He is working everything, and I mean everything, out for our good!  God never wastes our pain!  He is an expert redeemer!